I held the door open for a clown the other day ...

Started by Jason H.
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Jason H.

Who lives in a house with one bedroom, 50 hallways, and ghosts lurking everywhere?

Pacman

Deleted user

Do you want to hear a joke about a roof?

The first one’s on the house 🏡.

J

Jason H.

What did the hat say to the hat rack?

You stay here. I’ll go on a head.

Deleted user

How did the hipster burn his mouth?

He ate his pizza before it was cool 🍕.

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Jason H.

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Hey, what's with the paper towel?"

The pirate says, "Argh, I've got a Bounty on me head!"

Deleted user

I tried to win a stunning competition.

But all I got was bronze 🥉.

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Jason H.

My therapist told me to write letters to people I hated and then burn them.

I've done that, but what do I do with the letter.

Deleted user

What did the tie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I’ll keep hanging around 👔.

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Jason H.

A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb.

He just can't part with it.

Deleted user

Why did the giraffe get such bad grades?

He always had his head stuck in the clouds ☁️.

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Lisa R.

My brother took going to jail really badly. He refused all offers of food and drink and spat and swore at anyone who came near him. After that, we never played Monopoly with him again.

Thts to funny

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Jason H.

Fun fact: Australia's biggest export is boomerangs.

It's also their biggest import.

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Jason H.

Don’t kiss your wife with a runny nose.

You might think it’s funny, but it’s snot.

Deleted user

What happened when some lettuce, a faucet and a tomato ran a race together?

The lettuce was ahead, the faucet was running, and the tomato was trying to ketchup 🍅.

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Lindsay R.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from KFC.

Why did the police officer cross the road? Because a chicken j-walked.

Deleted user

What did the grape do when it got stepped on?

It let out a little wine 🍾.

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Serena S.

What's the difference between the people in Dubai and the people in Abu Dabi? People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones, but the people in Abu Dabi do.

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