He owes the state like 7000 and the federal government like 40000. He also has a loan for 35000 that he hasn't paid in years.
All of this is due to chemical dependency problems, he was making lots of money as a self employed grain farmer, got into meth, lost everything. This was before we were together.
Hes been clean and sober now over a year and we are trying to t SAS ckle his debt but he only makes $15/he now because he moved here to be with me and get away from dealers so he wouldn't be tempted.
We have created a budget and hes on a payment plan with the state, waiting to hear back from federal on a payment plan…but it's so stressful to me I just want to cry.
I dont think he can file bankruptcy because it wont erase the tax debt. Just the loan…
Lisa,
I know it's tough; I've been there. It must seem like a smothering amount of debt and there's nothing to do. But there is hope and reason for gratitude. It sounds like he's taken a positive step towards a clean life, and he's on a plan, with another on the way. There won't be a lot of room for frills, but he can work away at this a little at a time. He can even negotiate with the loan holder, and if that works, stay out of bankruptcy.
This is really good. It sounds like the best that can be done right now. The drug recovery folks talk about "one day at a time" and the importance of gratitude. Remember that he can't, and especially you can't, fix everything at once. So it's best to keep focus on just today. Make the right choices today and the rest will take care of itself. And keep reaching out for help. It's out there!
I'm fifteen years clean and erased a $20k debt and state and Federal tax bills of another $10k. It took about nine years, the support of financial counselors and other recovering addicts along the way, and tons of patience, self-forgiveness, gratitude, and daily work, but it CAN be done.
Good luck to you both.
Michael thank you so much. I just now saw your reply and I'm about in tears. I'm so proud of you, congratulations! Seriously that is a huge deal and very inspiring. Thank you for giving me a glimmer of hope.
Since I posted this topic, I found out that we could ask the state for penalty and interest abatement so we wrote a letter explaining the situation with proof of everything and the worst they can say is no. Fingers crossed!
I agree, write letters to each creditor that you owe explain the situation I know that there are federal state and local organizations that also will help it's just locating them in your area I'm not sure what state you're in but in my state we have a 211 system where you can go for help for any type of resources. And you may be able to be forgiven for any penalties or interest also there's local organizations such as churches and your local mental health center drug and alcohol center, etc. Reach out through social media somebody somewhere will be able to direct you.
Hang in there. Thats one of the hardest parts of recovery , dealing with the past mistakes. I can only imagine as a spouse. Hang tight. It'll work out.
More importantly thank you for not giving up on him
Great ideas. I definitely think sticking with it will pay off in the end. Make a plan and keep to it.
Dump him and get you a rich boy
The wreckage from our past will always haunt us but I promise with time it will get easier for y'all. I'm 2 1\2 years sober from meth and heroin and when they say that you slowly but surely get back the things you lost in active addiction it is more than true. It sounds like y'all have a great game plan going just stick with it and support him when he struggles. We do recover…
My late Husband did not pay taxes for three years. I did have to pay them after he passed. I did a lot of praying. I filled married but separate. I did pay my taxes. This is what I did when he was still alive. Oh well.
Lisa, congratulations to you both and like the encouraging words before he's moving in the right direction and keep your heads up, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Any of us that have had a mountain of debt can attest to the fact that it was a rabbit race that got us to the mountain but a turtle race to get us on the other side of the debt. Also, the IRS will allow him to apply for an offer for compromise to reduce the amount of the debt to repaid, but in so doing he needs to try to meet with an IRS representative face to face.
I had the same problem. H&R Block helped us out. The government actually owed him interest so it worked out in his favor!
Continue to stay the course
Alwaya somewhere nedd you and lost been, i'll be back to love you again
oh that is sad to hear. I would definitely try to find help through your town as a starting point. maybe they have some resources for you.. good luck.
I think as a caring partner one can only do what their instincts feel is the right way to get debts payed but sometimes it's just not still enough, I know someone who helps unemployed/retirees in debt cases like these and if you feel whatever you have tried hasn't worked out then it's time you mailed synod @ tutanota . com, If he hasn't filed for bankruptcy yet he could get loans from synod enough to cover his debts for government which is partially forgivable if the repayment dates are past due and justifiable reasons are given. I recommend for anyone who needs a way outta debts now.
